When I bought my house that was the first thing I did. I bought 5 cases of the king size Snickers for Halloween. I had 6 kids that first year, 3 the next and none the year after that. I lost all faith in humanity.
That kind of purchase even takes some time extra effort at the grocery store too. You can’t just purchase a box of full size candy bars. Not at a regular grocery store. Nope! You gotta raid all packs of candy bars they have in multiple check out isles. This is the hero’s journey for those that leave the legacy of giving full sized treats to trick-or-treaters. It’s legendary.
I get roughly 100 kids every year. Everyone gets a full size candy bar and a small toy. This year is the Mars assortment (plain m&m, peanut m&m, snickers, 3 musketeers, Skittles, and starburst) and a mini pop-it keychain.
I knew I had left a legacy because one year the toy was fidget spinners. Following year was slap bracelets. One kid was devastated to learn it wasn’t fidget spinners again and his dad said “I told you you can’t expect him to have the same thing every year!!” I absolutely had a couple leftover spinners and gave him one.
Started a conversation with a guy my age (60’s) and mentioned that I lived in the culdesac down the street. He said, “Yeah, I know”. I asked him how he knew and he said, “My grandchildren were excited during trick or treating saying that’s the house that gave us bags of candy!”.
I had small bags that I would hand out since it seemed like I only get 20 kids at the most. Good to leave a good impression on the future generation.
This is great. For me it was the guy down the block who got one of the first Polaroid cameras and gave every kid a picture of themselves. Our eight year old selves were in awe!
Every year I have 3 buckets and tell kids to take one from each. This year’s lineup includes full-sized candy bars, baby bottle pops, and push pops in bucket 1. Pokemon cards, mini plushies, and fidget toys bucket two. Kool aid jammers bucket 3. And obligatory cooler filled with seltzers and beer for the parents. Pair that with the fog machine, laser lights and Halloween playlist and we get quite a turn out.
I may not give out full size candy bars but I get many many bags, so I can just dump a random handful in a kid’s bag. We get around 100-200 kids a year. The house next door is a big draw due to their yard show.
I did this last year. Even had a sign that said take two. Everyone was really decent until a little girl and her mom tried to swipe all of it. Mom blamed the little girl when I went out to stop them. I have cameras with audio, I could hear her telling her kid to take it all. People suck.
The president of the college in my town was widely disliked by the regular townsfolk. Except for halloween. Those full size candy bars made him everybody’s favorite person for that one magical night every year.
Guy in our neighborhood worked for PepsiCo and he would have several cases of soda at his house on Halloween you get a full root beer orange soda whatever. I must have been 12 to 14 at the time I’m 45 now and I still remember.
Used to stop at the house owned by the guy who ran the hometown movie theatre. He’d give away his concession stand candy or stuff that was tied to movies that had come and gone from his theatre. One Halloween he was handing out packs of ET trading cards.
Totally true. I still remember the lady on our street that would give out cans of pop and either full size candy bars or giant pixie sticks
We get like a hundred kids some years. I’m not that rich.
When I bought my house that was the first thing I did. I bought 5 cases of the king size Snickers for Halloween. I had 6 kids that first year, 3 the next and none the year after that. I lost all faith in humanity.
need to adjust to inflation, so half full size chocolate bar vs 30 yrs ago
Why is r/funny now over run with these cut rate “comedians”. Wtf?
We do jello shots for the parents, kids are already getting enough treats. New neighbors literally move in and get told about it, good fun.
And here I am drawing the curtains, turning off all the lights and being as quiet as possible.
How did he kill that?
That kind of purchase even takes some time extra effort at the grocery store too. You can’t just purchase a box of full size candy bars. Not at a regular grocery store. Nope! You gotta raid all packs of candy bars they have in multiple check out isles. This is the hero’s journey for those that leave the legacy of giving full sized treats to trick-or-treaters. It’s legendary.
I get roughly 100 kids every year. Everyone gets a full size candy bar and a small toy. This year is the Mars assortment (plain m&m, peanut m&m, snickers, 3 musketeers, Skittles, and starburst) and a mini pop-it keychain.
I knew I had left a legacy because one year the toy was fidget spinners. Following year was slap bracelets. One kid was devastated to learn it wasn’t fidget spinners again and his dad said “I told you you can’t expect him to have the same thing every year!!” I absolutely had a couple leftover spinners and gave him one.
Started a conversation with a guy my age (60’s) and mentioned that I lived in the culdesac down the street. He said, “Yeah, I know”. I asked him how he knew and he said, “My grandchildren were excited during trick or treating saying that’s the house that gave us bags of candy!”.
I had small bags that I would hand out since it seemed like I only get 20 kids at the most. Good to leave a good impression on the future generation.
We give out full size Skittles every year. They know where we’re at.
I am that house.
I also give out popcorn options, kids go for that more than the candy.
And beer for the adults.
Ya’ll pussies need to take some beers and lighten up, it’s Halloween. I can’t finish 2 cases.
My parents give a can of pop/soda and a full size chocolate bar
With two pieces per tricker treater, we had candy for 600 last year. We ran out.
House around the corner has a better legacy though… Jell-O shots for the parents.
Ahh Pardis—bot farming instead of writing a punchline!
This is great. For me it was the guy down the block who got one of the first Polaroid cameras and gave every kid a picture of themselves. Our eight year old selves were in awe!
​
Edit: Yes I am old and the polaroid was B&W.
Can any comic do a set without cocaine?
Every year I have 3 buckets and tell kids to take one from each. This year’s lineup includes full-sized candy bars, baby bottle pops, and push pops in bucket 1. Pokemon cards, mini plushies, and fidget toys bucket two. Kool aid jammers bucket 3. And obligatory cooler filled with seltzers and beer for the parents. Pair that with the fog machine, laser lights and Halloween playlist and we get quite a turn out.
Don’t be back-dooring kids by giving out fun-size chocolate bars.
Shout out to you coach gamble and family. I’ll never forget you and the king size bars.
Truth!
Bill Burr has a better version of this bit. Boom, full size snickers, who does that?
Reportedly, Richard Nixon used to give out full sized chocolate bars on Halloween. Don’t let yourself be worse than Nixon.
I may not give out full size candy bars but I get many many bags, so I can just dump a random handful in a kid’s bag. We get around 100-200 kids a year. The house next door is a big draw due to their yard show.
I legit thought this was Taika Waititi
I did this last year. Even had a sign that said take two. Everyone was really decent until a little girl and her mom tried to swipe all of it. Mom blamed the little girl when I went out to stop them. I have cameras with audio, I could hear her telling her kid to take it all. People suck.
The president of the college in my town was widely disliked by the regular townsfolk. Except for halloween. Those full size candy bars made him everybody’s favorite person for that one magical night every year.
Every year for 27 years in this neighborhood. Full sized candy….multi-pack from Sam’s Club…..and only 10:kids show up.
Guy in our neighborhood worked for PepsiCo and he would have several cases of soda at his house on Halloween you get a full root beer orange soda whatever. I must have been 12 to 14 at the time I’m 45 now and I still remember.
I see this guy on my feed a lot. Does he do comedy too? I never get the funny stuff.
That’s my parents! They basically cause a traffic jam at this point, it’s wild.
Dudes on the shit
I still know his name and we haven’t lived there in years, he worked with my dad
Facts, I got a colouring book and crayons when I was very young and still remember the house today 😂
Used to stop at the house owned by the guy who ran the hometown movie theatre. He’d give away his concession stand candy or stuff that was tied to movies that had come and gone from his theatre. One Halloween he was handing out packs of ET trading cards.
Throw in full size coke cans, and you’ve reached legendary status.
Stelios Giannakopoulos (ex Bolton Wanderes Football Player) used to give out multi-packs. Definitely the best house I ever trick or treated at.