Hate those people. Same people who get angry when I don’t communicate with them anymore because they’ll never make plans and always cancel last minute but get mad if you can’t make their event last minute.
Whenever a friend of mine came into town I’d see a mutual friend of ours, who lived in the same city as me. I only saw them though when our friend was in town, and every time they’d tell me “oh we should definitely hang out sometime!”
I remember after the first time they said that I tried reaching out, seeing when a good time for them to hang out was. Never seemed to be a good time so I left it at that. Still, every time after that when our friend came into town they’d say it again, “oh we should hang out sometime!”
The last time they said that I said “oh yeah, we should! But we won’t.” And left it at that.
Always find “coffee” is code word for I don’t actually know what we’d have in common or do together. A beer/hike/ride/insert other actual activity usually ends up actually happening or at least there will be multiple texts attempting to make it happen will.
Say what you mean, and practice doing so. Otherwise, your character is insincere. It took me a long time to see I couldn’t trust myself, because I didn’t act very trustworthy in these ways. I liked myself better when I was sincere. Been practicing that ever since.
Same situation with the “How are you?” but before you even answer they are talking about something else. Like well ok I guess that wasn’t a open end question.
A buddy from back home texted me and we caught up a bit a few weeks ago. Shared updates and stuff. He said we should get dinner sometime soon, maybe even do a double date if everybody can get schedules lined up. I said sure, wanna do it there, here, or somewhere between? If you come here, I can give you a tour of the apartment and neighborhood and maybe we can do something around here too like mini golf. He said that sounds like a good plan. I gave him my availability over the following 2 weeks.
Got ghosted.
Did I miss social cues of him just trying to be polite? He didn’t just mention coffee, he mentioned dinner, and he pulled our wives into the plan. Am I dumb for thinking that was gonna go anywhere? We haven’t seen them in almost 3 years I think.
A friend from grade school bumped into me, and he gushed about how we needed to start hanging out again. Claimed he was always visiting the city where I was going to college and would for sure let me know when he was coming next.
Fast forward a couple weeks later, he posts on Facebook how he’s having a blast at this one restaurant with a mutual friend from grade school. The restaurant was right next door to my apartment.
I knew a girl in high school who would always say “we need to talk” whenever you ran into her in the hallway. But not like “hey let’s catch up,” more like “I have something really important to tell you.”
One day my friend was fed up and said “ok, let’s talk. What’s up?” And she couldn’t come up with anything. It was the most bizarre thing.
Her: Nope. Well I gotta run. We should get coffee sometime.
As an immigrant it took me years to understand this kind of small talk.
Yea, I don’t fuck with people like this. I’ll just walk away. If I haven’t seen you in years, this sure as hell isn’t gonna make me wanna stick around
Hate those people. Same people who get angry when I don’t communicate with them anymore because they’ll never make plans and always cancel last minute but get mad if you can’t make their event last minute.
Be your friend, chat on line, ask all kinds of questions but actually spend time with you…hell no
Then they started walking off in the same direction.
Whenever a friend of mine came into town I’d see a mutual friend of ours, who lived in the same city as me. I only saw them though when our friend was in town, and every time they’d tell me “oh we should definitely hang out sometime!”
I remember after the first time they said that I tried reaching out, seeing when a good time for them to hang out was. Never seemed to be a good time so I left it at that. Still, every time after that when our friend came into town they’d say it again, “oh we should hang out sometime!”
The last time they said that I said “oh yeah, we should! But we won’t.” And left it at that.
Or alternatively, say “It was nice seeing you, bye!”
You know, instead of being socially inept.
Just another example of meaningless greetings
Always find “coffee” is code word for I don’t actually know what we’d have in common or do together. A beer/hike/ride/insert other actual activity usually ends up actually happening or at least there will be multiple texts attempting to make it happen will.
Say what you mean, and practice doing so. Otherwise, your character is insincere. It took me a long time to see I couldn’t trust myself, because I didn’t act very trustworthy in these ways. I liked myself better when I was sincere. Been practicing that ever since.
Same situation with the “How are you?” but before you even answer they are talking about something else. Like well ok I guess that wasn’t a open end question.
When I was growing up this was described to me as the “Vancouver Intent.”
Wait that’s just a phrase to end a conversation?
In Seattle we call this the “Seattle Freeze”
Is this Ryan Gary Letourneu
It’s because of these kind of interactions why I hate small talk and sometimes running into people I haven’t seen in a long time.
Hate this. Just say hi and leave.
A buddy from back home texted me and we caught up a bit a few weeks ago. Shared updates and stuff. He said we should get dinner sometime soon, maybe even do a double date if everybody can get schedules lined up. I said sure, wanna do it there, here, or somewhere between? If you come here, I can give you a tour of the apartment and neighborhood and maybe we can do something around here too like mini golf. He said that sounds like a good plan. I gave him my availability over the following 2 weeks.
Got ghosted.
Did I miss social cues of him just trying to be polite? He didn’t just mention coffee, he mentioned dinner, and he pulled our wives into the plan. Am I dumb for thinking that was gonna go anywhere? We haven’t seen them in almost 3 years I think.
“I like you enough to stop and talk to you but not enough to take it further.”
A friend from grade school bumped into me, and he gushed about how we needed to start hanging out again. Claimed he was always visiting the city where I was going to college and would for sure let me know when he was coming next.
Fast forward a couple weeks later, he posts on Facebook how he’s having a blast at this one restaurant with a mutual friend from grade school. The restaurant was right next door to my apartment.
I always end it “we should totally have sex one of these days” and just leave it as that.
It would be funnier if they were In front of a coffee shop at the time. Like how about we go right now?
I knew a girl in high school who would always say “we need to talk” whenever you ran into her in the hallway. But not like “hey let’s catch up,” more like “I have something really important to tell you.”
One day my friend was fed up and said “ok, let’s talk. What’s up?” And she couldn’t come up with anything. It was the most bizarre thing.
I was just having a conversation about this today. I **LOATHE** clichés and empty words.
If you want to end the conversation just say “It was good talking to you” or something.
You don’t *have* to say crap you’re never gonna do like: “wE gOtTa cAtCh uP sOmETiMe!”
“HiT mE uP!”
So why even say that? Shut the fuck up if u don’t wanna hangout… I hate small talk.