Thanks for the love everyone. It’s been almost five years and she would totally be down with the morbidity of this. Most of her remains were mixed into the planting of a tree in her sister’s yard. The rest she would have wanted to go into a Yankees urn, but as a Red Sox fan that ain’t gonna happen.
This title without context has me very concerned about what the ‘thing’ we’re doing today is.
Joking aside, I’m sorry OP. I’m never sure what to say about these kinds of things because all the typical responses almost feel…empty? But I hope you find your way through this.
“Man, I met this broad at work today. She was stiff at first, gave me the cold shoulder for a while. But eventually she warmed right up. She was really smokin’. In the end she just fell apart and was completely dried up. I let her husband take her home, but he knew I bagged it so we were cool. He even paid me for it.”
You can always bring her out during a party and as you’re smoking a cigar you can ash in the bag and say, “Looks like the little lady is putting on some weight!” Then you’ll probably need to find some new friends
My condolences but you’ve got the same humor as my family. (posted these before)
My brother (this was 30 years ago) had terminal cancer and received a call from a grade school friend who he had not heard from in 10 years. He said the friend wanted to get together for lunch and assumed his friend must have heard about his prognosis. When they went to lunch his friend said, “I guess you’re wondering why I called you”. The friend then went into a spiel that he was selling life insurance. My brother said, “Great, I’ll take all you can sell me!” His friend was stunned as he probably had been told to Fxxk off more than a few times. My brother then asked him if it would pay out when he died in 6 months. My brother said his friend clammed up and he had a blast watching him squirm.
My brother told us a joke about a guy watching his brother’s cat while he was out of town. The brother called to ask how the cat was doing and the one watching it said it was dead. When the brother calmed down he told the one watching the cat that he should never break news like that. He said “You should first say that the cat got out and was on the roof”. The next day you should say “The fire department tried to get him off but he fell and he’s at the vet”. He then said, “The next day you should tell me that he didn’t make it.
The brother then asked him how Mom was doing. The brother replied, “She’s up on the roof”.
At my brother’s wake my mom said to me, “You’re brother is on the roof”.
My mom is still in a ziplock bag labeled ” mom dust. NOT DRUGS! do not snort!” I had to travel three hours to pick up my portion of Mom’s ashes and my sister and I had joked about my family getting pulled over and state troopers finding the mom baggie and arresting us. So she decided to label her very clearly.
Lost mine just over two years ago. We buried her ashes and planted an apple tree on top. She was always about helping people, giving them comfort and support. Having her tree bear fruit for the people she loved seemed fitting.
And doing it in a way that was kind of weird and morbid was right up her alley.
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That’s pretty metal
I shouldn’t have laughed, but I did. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|give_upvote)
My sincere condolences
I’ll bet she was smokin’
I applaud you, you sick fuck !
She must have been hot
Well, that escalated quickly.
I also choose this guy’s dead wife.
Is she single?
Thanks for the love everyone. It’s been almost five years and she would totally be down with the morbidity of this. Most of her remains were mixed into the planting of a tree in her sister’s yard. The rest she would have wanted to go into a Yankees urn, but as a Red Sox fan that ain’t gonna happen.
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sob)
Well, this got dark fast!
That’s enough Reddit for today. Sorry for your loss.
She left all the other wives in the dust alright
This title without context has me very concerned about what the ‘thing’ we’re doing today is.
Joking aside, I’m sorry OP. I’m never sure what to say about these kinds of things because all the typical responses almost feel…empty? But I hope you find your way through this.
That girl was on fire! …
Sorry couldn’t resist, sorry for your loss brother
“Man, I met this broad at work today. She was stiff at first, gave me the cold shoulder for a while. But eventually she warmed right up. She was really smokin’. In the end she just fell apart and was completely dried up. I let her husband take her home, but he knew I bagged it so we were cool. He even paid me for it.”
-The Mortician
Is she ok?
You win. Congratulations on keeping your sense of humor after such trauma btw
Humor is something you both shared and I can see you still hold her dear to your heart. Still really lovely💜 I bet she is cheering you on.
Sharing a naked photo of your wife isn’t right unless she oks it
She looks like my sister
/and now I am sad
No offense, she looks like an old bag.
You win sir, lol, glad your wife would’ve laughed at this. She must have been an awesome person.
If my husband still had me in a bag n box after that long i’d haunt the fuck out of him lmao
Holy shit did I need this today. Well played my guy.
You can always bring her out during a party and as you’re smoking a cigar you can ash in the bag and say, “Looks like the little lady is putting on some weight!” Then you’ll probably need to find some new friends
She’s fine
Showed this to my wife. She said she’d do the same thing…
My condolences but you’ve got the same humor as my family. (posted these before)
My brother (this was 30 years ago) had terminal cancer and received a call from a grade school friend who he had not heard from in 10 years. He said the friend wanted to get together for lunch and assumed his friend must have heard about his prognosis. When they went to lunch his friend said, “I guess you’re wondering why I called you”. The friend then went into a spiel that he was selling life insurance. My brother said, “Great, I’ll take all you can sell me!” His friend was stunned as he probably had been told to Fxxk off more than a few times. My brother then asked him if it would pay out when he died in 6 months. My brother said his friend clammed up and he had a blast watching him squirm.
My brother told us a joke about a guy watching his brother’s cat while he was out of town. The brother called to ask how the cat was doing and the one watching it said it was dead. When the brother calmed down he told the one watching the cat that he should never break news like that. He said “You should first say that the cat got out and was on the roof”. The next day you should say “The fire department tried to get him off but he fell and he’s at the vet”. He then said, “The next day you should tell me that he didn’t make it.
The brother then asked him how Mom was doing. The brother replied, “She’s up on the roof”.
At my brother’s wake my mom said to me, “You’re brother is on the roof”.
I m sorry for your loss, but also I feel this. Man, my partner has been in a ziplock for nearly 8 years now. He would expect nothing less.
A spitting image of my Mom and Dad.
Single men, you can’t expect a wife to just fall into your lap, especially one like this.
You gotta urn a woman like this.
My wife had 2 requests when she died: to have her remains spread at Disney World and to not be cremated.
I had moved shortly after my mom passed and had my portion of her ashes in a bag and in a different spot in the open.
A friend if mine was over, walked out with it in her hand, asked why I had dirt in a ziplock bag on my dresser.
“That’s my mom”
She cried from embarrassment lmao
Bagged a good one man.
FMD. why did I even type that.
My mom is still in a ziplock bag labeled ” mom dust. NOT DRUGS! do not snort!” I had to travel three hours to pick up my portion of Mom’s ashes and my sister and I had joked about my family getting pulled over and state troopers finding the mom baggie and arresting us. So she decided to label her very clearly.
Lost mine just over two years ago. We buried her ashes and planted an apple tree on top. She was always about helping people, giving them comfort and support. Having her tree bear fruit for the people she loved seemed fitting.
And doing it in a way that was kind of weird and morbid was right up her alley.