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Home security hack: If they break into your safe, they’re gay.
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View Reddit by AkoVendettaOSRS – View Source
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Home security hack: If they break into your safe, they’re gay.
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View Reddit by AkoVendettaOSRS – View Source
Apparently only gay men like dicks.
Theres a scene on John Dies at The End where they’re trying to escape a haunted basement and the doorknob gets turned into a dick and he just says “this door can not be opened!”
How do you get in then
Female Robber: I am no man.
Giving a whole new meaning to safe sex.
The criminal: “Why wont it open!? I’ve pulled and tugged and jerked it every way I can think of!”
The safe: “Try sucking on it.”
Imagine one of the burglar hearing another one saying “no homo”.
Just imagining how Mr. Slave from *South Park* would “crack” this safe.
/Jezuth Christ …
I was burgled by a gay guy. I only went out for half an hour. When I got back the whole place was hoovered, and my Ironing was done.
If they were gay before, that may attract them to your safe.
Whoa. That’s a next-level Cock (b)lock.
Female safe crackers lining up to settle the situation
Not that theres anything wrong with that.
This is a fucking safe
This is my rifle, this is my gun…
Or a woman…
There’s a movie called “John dies at the end” based on a book about the “sauce” at one point they get locked in a basement by a supernatural being when the being changes the door knob into cock and balls. Still funny
“I can’t get the door open”
“Try jiggling the knob”
Gay thieves be stoked on the twofer
I said I needed a safe with a LOCK!
Women who love cock will suck break this safe. Not a problem!
Blue Mountain State says to just use a pocket pussy
“Alright Mugsy, open the safe!”
“Ahh geee uhh I can’t boss!”
“Why naht?”
“The handles a penis, boss!”
“… A what?”
“A penis, boss, they put a big penis where the handle should be and I can’t touch it or it means I’m gay!”
“Listen yous mugs! Open that safe or I’ll clock you!”
“But boss, please! … Okay”
*Grabs handle*
“Say boss … You look good tonight”
“Mugsy no!!”
What if the robber is a woman?
LPL: This lock is truly impossible to pick. I am not even going to try.
So THAT’S why my wife is always trying to get into the safe?
Plot twist: The safe hides his sex toy collection.
Lockpicking lawyer: damn, checkmate
The safe combination was revealed by [Oglaf – Brass Knobs](https://www.oglaf.com/brassknobs/) (NSFW) as two big licks, a slurp on the headthen six tugs in the keyhole.
I can’t believe something that’s been in my ass has over 2k upvotes on Reddit. Ya’ll wild.
But this already runs into the well-known exception of “$20 is $20.”
On my death bed ill tell my kids the combination is the choreography to nikki minajs anaconda
We have a saying, be gay do crime
How to check if someone did try to unlock it…
Number 1: if its wet
Number 2: when you- wh- uuh
Numbe- uAgh Uh Ugh Ah~
Damn it, you made me laugh. Here’s your stupid award.
It’s not gay if they say no homo bro
As a gay burglar the jokes on you sucker! That’s going up my pipe hole when I burgle your shithole and now your gay if you ever use it again!
u/lockpickinglawyer – this going to be your video upload tomorrow?