I don’t mind my friends bringing their kids. But between having to do so much more, and being tired from doing so much more, they never seem to have the time to do anything else.
Unrealistic. In this comic the parent of a young child is at a summer party. In reality, they would have either declined the invite due to being busy/tired or cancelled last minute due to them or the kid being sick
TBH, it can be challenging as a friend to hangout with a friend who’s recently become a Dad/Mom or has young kids.
You can’t come over and do the stuff you used to do (especially if you used to get drunk/etc), and talk till early in the morning. You can’t play videogames like you used to, since you’re busy being mom/dad with wife/husband. It can KIND of work better if you’re friends to both partners, but that’s rare, they’ll see hanging with you as a group activity.
But even then, kids/babies are very demanding and limiting, lots of actions, plans and activities are completely curtailed by the presence of babies. Your friends can be VERY nice and work around you, but ultimately the friendship WILL take a hit, and that’s just the way life is.
I soooo feel this. If I liked kids, I would have made my own. And all my friends know that I don’t like kids because they know me very well. But yes, sure, send me this gross food all over picture and watch me ignore it for the 3784346 time.
A hangout with a baby around and a hangout without a baby around is such a different vibe. I feel awful for my friend when we don’t invite them, but like… the baby changes the vibe no matter how cute or asleep it is.
Edit: I invite my friend to most of our hang outs but once in a while, I just want a grown ups only evening and I exclude her. I feel bad but I also need to enjoy my time off?? My friend also has a habit of handing her baby off to anyone/everyone at the event and turning every conversation into how cute her baby is. It’s exhausting.
Lol so true. Kids aren’t accessories you can bring along with you everywhere.
*Ask* people if they want to accommodate your parenting if you want them to help you watch your kids, because that’s what *any* socializing with kids is.
I haven’t seen a mate of mine in ages and it’s partially because of this.
Him and his wife ended up buying a house that is about forty minutes drive away from the rest of our friend group (almost two hours on public transport).
They have had two kids and it seems like they never spend time apart. If I want to see my mate it is always at his place and the kids are always present. I often end up holding a baby despite making it abundantly clear that it makes me uncomfortable.
Most of my other mates also have kids, but they all make an effort to find at least one evening every few weeks to pop out for a coffee or a meal without the kids.
My friend is now fully WFH, so I worry that he never gets any time to himself. His missus still goes out with her friends on occasion and leaves him with the kids, but the reverse isn’t true. I’m sure that there must be more to the story, but I just want to spend some time with my mate without having a screaming baby plonked in my lap.
The worst thing is when you come to visit a friend with kids, and find that their spouse is left to deal with the kid by themself during that time, and this leads to conflicts and you’re just there not knowing what to do.
A friend in my group had a child a few years ago and from that moment on we’ve never once gotten together without the kid being present. I never say anything because I don’t want to sound like a douche, but is the idea of getting a relative or a babysitter to look after the child so unfathomable? It’s not like we hang out every week, we only get together like once every 3-4 months.Another friend in the group had a child too last year and it’s the same thing, the kids always coming along became like the unspoken standard practice. Every time we hang out the entire conversation revolves around the kids, how they’re doing in kindergarten, what funny thing they said last week, how they got sick last month and how high the fever was,etc. I remember inviting them over for my birthday, and the spouses and the kids tagged along even when I’d never said anything about them being invited. The one kid was deathly afraid of my dog so I spent the entire get together having to restrain my dog while the kid ran around free.
I don’t want kids and I’ve had friends try to dump them on me when I hung out with them.
“Going to the store real quick” nope. I’m going for you.
Screaming kids makes me into an anxious wreck and I start shaking. I feel bad not hanging out with my friends with kids but I don’t think they want another human crying in their presence either lol
Our kid grew up during the pandemic so for a while it’s just me, my, husband and the little one. Being apart from our friends and vice versa actually made everything better post lockdowns, we get invited by all our friends because they haven’t seen us and, for a majority of them, haven’t met our our kid yet.
If the pandemic didn’t happen we probably won’t be invited as much.
My college friends would all meet at a winery once a year. We all live in different places so some of us were traveling several hours to attend. The first friend who had a baby started bringing them, and suddenly the entire event shifted so it was all talk about babies and mommy things. After a few more had kids, I stopped attending. It turned into driving hours to sit there and listen to people talk about diapers and feeding schedules and other baby stuff. It turned our fun tipsy meetups into serious child focused discussions, and tbh no one seemed to be having fun anymore.
All jokes aside, I have a friend who always brings her 1 year old, and the toll of motherhood is very sad and sobering. She can’t seem to focus on anything except the baby, even when he’s asleep. Like we’re talking and I can tell she’s only partially present, always glancing over and checking him, skipping randomly from topic to topic. I miss my friend 🙁
The biggest problem I have with my parent friends is that every time I see them, first thing they do is whip out their phone to show me boring videos of their kid babbling nonsense or whatever . I really miss our old conversations
Hope you enjoy! You can find more of my comics over at r/BummerParty
Is this the spam I’m to be wary of?
This is hilarious. Like, yes I want to hang out with *you*. Not your kid. This isn’t a daycare
Just sent this to my wife, funniest shit ive seen all day!
I don’t mind my friends bringing their kids. But between having to do so much more, and being tired from doing so much more, they never seem to have the time to do anything else.
Unrealistic. In this comic the parent of a young child is at a summer party. In reality, they would have either declined the invite due to being busy/tired or cancelled last minute due to them or the kid being sick
TBH, it can be challenging as a friend to hangout with a friend who’s recently become a Dad/Mom or has young kids.
You can’t come over and do the stuff you used to do (especially if you used to get drunk/etc), and talk till early in the morning. You can’t play videogames like you used to, since you’re busy being mom/dad with wife/husband. It can KIND of work better if you’re friends to both partners, but that’s rare, they’ll see hanging with you as a group activity.
But even then, kids/babies are very demanding and limiting, lots of actions, plans and activities are completely curtailed by the presence of babies. Your friends can be VERY nice and work around you, but ultimately the friendship WILL take a hit, and that’s just the way life is.
I soooo feel this. If I liked kids, I would have made my own. And all my friends know that I don’t like kids because they know me very well. But yes, sure, send me this gross food all over picture and watch me ignore it for the 3784346 time.
A hangout with a baby around and a hangout without a baby around is such a different vibe. I feel awful for my friend when we don’t invite them, but like… the baby changes the vibe no matter how cute or asleep it is.
Edit: I invite my friend to most of our hang outs but once in a while, I just want a grown ups only evening and I exclude her. I feel bad but I also need to enjoy my time off?? My friend also has a habit of handing her baby off to anyone/everyone at the event and turning every conversation into how cute her baby is. It’s exhausting.
Lol so true. Kids aren’t accessories you can bring along with you everywhere.
*Ask* people if they want to accommodate your parenting if you want them to help you watch your kids, because that’s what *any* socializing with kids is.
God I’m happy the GF and I decided we have 0 desire for kids.
No, I think this belongs on r/meirl
But how the turntables when in a 2 years span, you’re the one not invited because they all have kids and you don’t.
Edit: hey, I don’t have kids, it stings for me too, no need to downvote ahah
Because you are not a friend worth getting a baby sitter for.
Nobody is entitled to someone else’s time, wanting to remain friends takes effort from both sides of the equation.
As a non kid friend of families like this, the stages of grief apply. It’s almost like losing a friend haha.
Any “friend” who acts like this is someone you shouldn’t regret losing.
I haven’t seen a mate of mine in ages and it’s partially because of this.
Him and his wife ended up buying a house that is about forty minutes drive away from the rest of our friend group (almost two hours on public transport).
They have had two kids and it seems like they never spend time apart. If I want to see my mate it is always at his place and the kids are always present. I often end up holding a baby despite making it abundantly clear that it makes me uncomfortable.
Most of my other mates also have kids, but they all make an effort to find at least one evening every few weeks to pop out for a coffee or a meal without the kids.
My friend is now fully WFH, so I worry that he never gets any time to himself. His missus still goes out with her friends on occasion and leaves him with the kids, but the reverse isn’t true. I’m sure that there must be more to the story, but I just want to spend some time with my mate without having a screaming baby plonked in my lap.
Why would anyone want to hang out with a baby
ITT: People bitter that their friends prioritise their children over them.
The worst thing is when you come to visit a friend with kids, and find that their spouse is left to deal with the kid by themself during that time, and this leads to conflicts and you’re just there not knowing what to do.
She knew what was gonna happen when she decided to get knocked up.
A friend in my group had a child a few years ago and from that moment on we’ve never once gotten together without the kid being present. I never say anything because I don’t want to sound like a douche, but is the idea of getting a relative or a babysitter to look after the child so unfathomable? It’s not like we hang out every week, we only get together like once every 3-4 months.Another friend in the group had a child too last year and it’s the same thing, the kids always coming along became like the unspoken standard practice. Every time we hang out the entire conversation revolves around the kids, how they’re doing in kindergarten, what funny thing they said last week, how they got sick last month and how high the fever was,etc. I remember inviting them over for my birthday, and the spouses and the kids tagged along even when I’d never said anything about them being invited. The one kid was deathly afraid of my dog so I spent the entire get together having to restrain my dog while the kid ran around free.
I don’t want kids and I’ve had friends try to dump them on me when I hung out with them.
“Going to the store real quick” nope. I’m going for you.
Screaming kids makes me into an anxious wreck and I start shaking. I feel bad not hanging out with my friends with kids but I don’t think they want another human crying in their presence either lol
Our kid grew up during the pandemic so for a while it’s just me, my, husband and the little one. Being apart from our friends and vice versa actually made everything better post lockdowns, we get invited by all our friends because they haven’t seen us and, for a majority of them, haven’t met our our kid yet.
If the pandemic didn’t happen we probably won’t be invited as much.
My college friends would all meet at a winery once a year. We all live in different places so some of us were traveling several hours to attend. The first friend who had a baby started bringing them, and suddenly the entire event shifted so it was all talk about babies and mommy things. After a few more had kids, I stopped attending. It turned into driving hours to sit there and listen to people talk about diapers and feeding schedules and other baby stuff. It turned our fun tipsy meetups into serious child focused discussions, and tbh no one seemed to be having fun anymore.
All jokes aside, I have a friend who always brings her 1 year old, and the toll of motherhood is very sad and sobering. She can’t seem to focus on anything except the baby, even when he’s asleep. Like we’re talking and I can tell she’s only partially present, always glancing over and checking him, skipping randomly from topic to topic. I miss my friend 🙁
Fact is having a family is all consuming for like 3-5 years.
It is very difficult for people with children and childfree people to stay friends during that time without an enormous amount of grace.
The friend without the kid is going to be put in the position to give much more if the friendship is to survive.
If not fair but the friend with kids he’s giving about 150% of what they feel they can give already to their own family for a period of time.
They are exhausted and worn out in a way you cannot contemplate unless you have done. It Those first 3-5 years are no joke.
Good luck to all the friendships out there.
Here we go another make believe baby thread with made-up stories by redditors who hate children. Blocked and moving on.
The biggest problem I have with my parent friends is that every time I see them, first thing they do is whip out their phone to show me boring videos of their kid babbling nonsense or whatever . I really miss our old conversations
A lot of ignorant people on here attacking exhausted mothers. You all should be ashamed.
Kids are bad, hahahaha. Oh reddit, you’re so original.