When I was 9 my father was exploded by an improperly maintained gas range. When I moved with my Aunt across the country to her apple orchard I had a very hard time making friends. To make my Aunts Apple Pie you will need:
With a sprinkle of affiliate links to premium quality ingredients that will totally take your dish to the next level, but you can use these common pleb versions if you insist.
I have a chrome extension called Recipe Filter which I recommend. On most recipe sites it will bring a pop up that shows the recipe and directions on easy to read format without all the bullshit
I would add a small slice of “The most useless user comments about anything that you can find on the Internet”.
I was looking at a recipe the other day and a user posted, “This looks great, but I don’t have any peanut butter. Would cream cheese work?” And I can’t help but think, this is a person we just let operate an oven and have access to sharp knives?
Or the classic, “I didn’t have any of these ingredients so I substituted everything. Dish didn’t come out at all as pictured, my whole family hated it, total waste of time. If I could give this recipe no stars, I would”.
“How the author was changed emotionally” lmao isn’t that the truth! People eat a Beef Wellington for the first time and they be like “I did not live until today” and they are DAMN RIGHT!
This is why my go-to is seriouseats.com Every recipe page has a “Jump to Recipe” button practically at the top of the page. They get the SEO value, I get to skip the stuff I don’t care about, though lots of times their articles are so interesting I read the whole thing anyway.
When I was a boy of seven, the Tongan Governess my parents hired to care for me would make this delicious grilled cheese sandwich as a reward for holding still during my weekly anal bleachings. ‘Twas a happy time.
[Paprika](https://www.paprikaapp.com/) is an incredible recipe manager for mac/pc/mobile. It provides a browser bookmarklet that saves the recipe you are browsing and strips this bloat.
Plus, the mobile app keeps your device awake while cooking, there’s a shopping list feature, and it auto-scale ingredients.
Trust me, the one-time fee is well worth this app.
Depends. If you run a food blog that’s expectation. I mostly had tech related stuff and did some food posts and I did put some background on why and how. Recipe was marked clearly so you could skip the fluff if you wanted. Photos also help to visualize the thing. So that’s not always bad.
And in the user review under the recipe: “I substituted flour since I didn’t have any baking powder handy. Also substituted the potatoes with apples because I hate potatoes. 1/5 stars, terrible dish.”
Or the opposite end of the spectrum if it’s on something like TikTok: Video of them making the dish without actually giving any of the measurements so their “recipe” is effectively useless.
Dylan Hollis does a pretty good job though, full recipe, measurements cited, and enough humor to keep it engaging.
“My mother used to make this mac and cheese everyday. I loved my moms recipe and thats why i wanted to share it with the world. Eventually however eating this mac and cheese recipe i started getting fatter and fatter and until all the kids in school started calling me fatboy. It changed my perspective on life because this mac and cheese was what caused this. One day i had diarrhea and it was because i ate so much of my moms mac and cheese that my body could no more contain all the mass of this mac and cheese. And thats why everytime i have diarrhea i get reminded of my mother. Thats why i decided to become a therapist it was…
Anyways the recipe is:
Macaroni
Cheddar cheese
Some milk
Add in a pot, mix and enjoy, and Thank you for reading my 5 page autobiography.
I guess I must block out how many ads are in online recipes. I just know I don’t give a flying fuck how this recipe came from your 3rd cousin twice removed’s great grandmother that she made on a foggy day.
I know there are other apps and browser extensions and everything but I found an app called AnyList and it’s like, $15/year for the subscription but you “share” the recipe webpage to the app (3 clicks) and it logs just the recipe to the app, creates a shopping list if you need it, has the instructions, and a picture of the dish, etc.
I don’t watch a lot of recipe videos, but when I do, I appreciate people like Alton Brown or J. Kenji López-Alt who are doing something prep or cook related really quickly.
Because yeah, I don’t give a shit how these muffins remind you of your childhood fall trips to the woodlands because **I WASN’T FUCKING THERE, NOW WAS I?**
By itself, a recipe is not copyright-able by law. It needs to be accompanied by “substantial literary expression” in order to be protected. This is why all recipes now come with “substantial literary expression”. Unfortunately this is just the law of our(US) land.
Person who wrote the recipe: when i was a young child living in the cold mountains with my 7 siblings my mother would work herself to death just to make enough money to buy what little groceries she could she would make us this dish every night and it has stuck with me since as a comfort meal during hard times the recipe is simple
What you’ll need is
•onion
•oil
•Tears of a himalayan mountain goat
•salt and pepper
• 5 dodo eggs
Cook it over (Insert thing you have to pay thousands for)
Honestly I take photos of my computer on my phone of the recipe.
For some reason all these sites load in the most annoying fashion on mobile, like they don’t load all the way from the get go, only as you scroll, so it makes it a pain in the ass to get to the actual recipe
It’s always the author’s entire life story, and how much their kids and husband love the recipe, how it’s so great they beg the author to make it often, etc etc etc. Like 3 pages of that crap. Listen Linda, I don’t give a shit about ANY of that. Please just show me how to make the gd Tuscan Chicken!
Truth.
the recipe slice is too large….
When I was 9 my father was exploded by an improperly maintained gas range. When I moved with my Aunt across the country to her apple orchard I had a very hard time making friends. To make my Aunts Apple Pie you will need:
With a sprinkle of affiliate links to premium quality ingredients that will totally take your dish to the next level, but you can use these common pleb versions if you insist.
Finally someone speaking the truth
momblogs
I have a chrome extension called Recipe Filter which I recommend. On most recipe sites it will bring a pop up that shows the recipe and directions on easy to read format without all the bullshit
I would add a small slice of “The most useless user comments about anything that you can find on the Internet”.
I was looking at a recipe the other day and a user posted, “This looks great, but I don’t have any peanut butter. Would cream cheese work?” And I can’t help but think, this is a person we just let operate an oven and have access to sharp knives?
Or the classic, “I didn’t have any of these ingredients so I substituted everything. Dish didn’t come out at all as pictured, my whole family hated it, total waste of time. If I could give this recipe no stars, I would”.
“How the author was changed emotionally” lmao isn’t that the truth! People eat a Beef Wellington for the first time and they be like “I did not live until today” and they are DAMN RIGHT!
SEO is the real villain here
Y’all need to learn what SEO is…
This is why my go-to is seriouseats.com Every recipe page has a “Jump to Recipe” button practically at the top of the page. They get the SEO value, I get to skip the stuff I don’t care about, though lots of times their articles are so interesting I read the whole thing anyway.
When I was a boy of seven, the Tongan Governess my parents hired to care for me would make this delicious grilled cheese sandwich as a reward for holding still during my weekly anal bleachings. ‘Twas a happy time.
(https://www.justtherecipe.com/)
[Paprika](https://www.paprikaapp.com/) is an incredible recipe manager for mac/pc/mobile. It provides a browser bookmarklet that saves the recipe you are browsing and strips this bloat.
Plus, the mobile app keeps your device awake while cooking, there’s a shopping list feature, and it auto-scale ingredients.
Trust me, the one-time fee is well worth this app.
LPT: use the “print this recipe” link. It’s almost always there and gives you a nice concise version.
Depends. If you run a food blog that’s expectation. I mostly had tech related stuff and did some food posts and I did put some background on why and how. Recipe was marked clearly so you could skip the fluff if you wanted. Photos also help to visualize the thing. So that’s not always bad.
“Jump to recipe” quickly became the first thing I look for
I’m a master of quick scrolling for the actual recipes
Wait your 15 minute long videos show someone making said dish? Mine always show someone making a completely different one!
And in the user review under the recipe: “I substituted flour since I didn’t have any baking powder handy. Also substituted the potatoes with apples because I hate potatoes. 1/5 stars, terrible dish.”
Or the opposite end of the spectrum if it’s on something like TikTok: Video of them making the dish without actually giving any of the measurements so their “recipe” is effectively useless.
Dylan Hollis does a pretty good job though, full recipe, measurements cited, and enough humor to keep it engaging.
Or even worse tic tok recipes with not times temperatures or measurements. Then your wife asks you to make it.
“My mother used to make this mac and cheese everyday. I loved my moms recipe and thats why i wanted to share it with the world. Eventually however eating this mac and cheese recipe i started getting fatter and fatter and until all the kids in school started calling me fatboy. It changed my perspective on life because this mac and cheese was what caused this. One day i had diarrhea and it was because i ate so much of my moms mac and cheese that my body could no more contain all the mass of this mac and cheese. And thats why everytime i have diarrhea i get reminded of my mother. Thats why i decided to become a therapist it was…
Anyways the recipe is:
Macaroni
Cheddar cheese
Some milk
Add in a pot, mix and enjoy, and Thank you for reading my 5 page autobiography.
Common phrase being shouted in my house “I don’t give a fuck about your fucking food journey, I just wanna make your fucking strawberry short cake”
Seriously! I just wanted to double check what temp and for how long!
Pics of the finished product and a video to guide and give preparation tips?
As long as the recipe is clearly written, those are amazing bonuses.
I guess I must block out how many ads are in online recipes. I just know I don’t give a flying fuck how this recipe came from your 3rd cousin twice removed’s great grandmother that she made on a foggy day.
I know there are other apps and browser extensions and everything but I found an app called AnyList and it’s like, $15/year for the subscription but you “share” the recipe webpage to the app (3 clicks) and it logs just the recipe to the app, creates a shopping list if you need it, has the instructions, and a picture of the dish, etc.
https://imgur.com/BtppmKJ.jpg
https://imgur.com/5jnrEIy.jpg
https://imgur.com/t5RZ1Kt.jpg
https://imgur.com/jDdh7x0.jpg
You can try the app for like, 10 recipes before committing to the subscription.
Not my app, not a shill, it was recommended to me by a friend and I liked it so much I mention it whenever these things come up.
I recall the first time I made this dish it was for a 70 person dinner at the white house… And that’s how my cottage pie recipe saved Christmas.
“I remember eating this when I was little living on a farm in east Wyoming”
https://justdamnrecipes.com/
I don’t watch a lot of recipe videos, but when I do, I appreciate people like Alton Brown or J. Kenji López-Alt who are doing something prep or cook related really quickly.
Because yeah, I don’t give a shit how these muffins remind you of your childhood fall trips to the woodlands because **I WASN’T FUCKING THERE, NOW WAS I?**
You forgot the two to three paragraphs of random bullshit about family.
By itself, a recipe is not copyright-able by law. It needs to be accompanied by “substantial literary expression” in order to be protected. This is why all recipes now come with “substantial literary expression”. Unfortunately this is just the law of our(US) land.
Lets not forget the actual dish rarely looks like the picture
You forgot “Forgets to mention any seasonings”
https://www.justtherecipe.com/
Me: i wanna make this thing
Person who wrote the recipe: when i was a young child living in the cold mountains with my 7 siblings my mother would work herself to death just to make enough money to buy what little groceries she could she would make us this dish every night and it has stuck with me since as a comfort meal during hard times the recipe is simple
What you’ll need is
•onion
•oil
•Tears of a himalayan mountain goat
•salt and pepper
• 5 dodo eggs
Cook it over (Insert thing you have to pay thousands for)
Simple and easy
Me: i’ll just order pizza
You forgot the author’s long family backstory about how they learned to cook the dish.
I had to scan down 5 pages just now for a frikkin’ popsicle recipe!
Honestly I take photos of my computer on my phone of the recipe.
For some reason all these sites load in the most annoying fashion on mobile, like they don’t load all the way from the get go, only as you scroll, so it makes it a pain in the ass to get to the actual recipe
“Jump to recipe” is both a godsend, and infuriating that it needs to exist
It’s always the author’s entire life story, and how much their kids and husband love the recipe, how it’s so great they beg the author to make it often, etc etc etc. Like 3 pages of that crap. Listen Linda, I don’t give a shit about ANY of that. Please just show me how to make the gd Tuscan Chicken!